When I tell you that I love you, I am also telling you that I will give you my attention. Attention isn't the whole of love, but is it is an essential, vital part. Without my attention, my love will be inadequate, incomplete.
Giving attention means that we give our focus to another. It means noticing accurately your feelings and thoughts. It means noticing your needs, desires and expectations. It means that this attention comes without judgment and correction. Attention is consistent and doesn't only exist when times are good or when there are problems. Attention seeks to really know the other person as they are.
Giving attention does not mean controlling, protecting or intruding on their life. It doesn't mean we are to scrutinize them. We don't need to undermine their power to make their own choices in life, even if we would make different choices. I don't keep you under lock and key. I don't try to direct your every thought or act.
Loving you will lead me to hear your words, notice your feelings and take in your experience. I will know if you are acting freely or if you feel pressured. I will know your true thoughts and feelings. I will respect your intuitions. Loving you will build trust and security.
And for you, loving me, it is the same.
Learning this skill of loving will begin to change me. By learning to give my attention to another I practice letting go of my own self importance. Loving you allows me to become the person that love you even more.
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