The Advantages of Mediation

Litigation has been called civilized warfare. Maybe we should put civilized in quotation marks. So often litigation is a loser’s game. Even when you win, you lose. The adversarial process, the win at all costs perspective and the occasional dirty tricks leave even the winners wounded. The costs of winning are running high.

Increasingly mediation is seen as a better choice than traditional litigation. There is a growing desire to ease the unnecessary pain and costs associated with preparing for trial and the trial itself. There is a growing desire to have more control of the process and the outcomes than we can have in litigation. This is just what mediation offers.

Mediation reduces conflict
From the beginning mediation is seeking a working resolution to the conflict. Easing conflict is part and parcel of mediation. Anger and resentment can reside just under the surface. Sometimes emotions erupt threatening to drive the process, but skilled mediation creates opportunities to build agreement. By addressing such deep feelings and considering the dividing perspectives and interests a trained mediator is able to find sufficient shared ground to build

Mediation reduces pain
Since the level of conflict is reduced, mediation reduces the pain of difficult conflicts. It is easier on children when they are not caught up in the battles of their parents and families. It is easier on children when they are not paraded through court and court appointed experts. Our children will do better when the adults in their lives carefully make adult decisions for their benefit together.
And it is easier on you too. Endings are just as important as beginnings. The way this dispute is resolved will impact your life for years to come. Good endings can lead to good beginnings. A bitter battle full of anger and resentment may lead to an expensive, drawn out court battle. And it may take years to recover from that.

Mediation preserves control
When sitting before a judge, in the end all the choices are his. You have lost control because someone else will be deciding your future. In mediation the choices are yours. There is no third party deciding what will come next in your life. The decisions come fast or slow as you choose. Each step will be worked out in agreement. All of the elements in the agreement will be approved by you. You don’t sign the agreement until you understand it and accept that it is right for you.

Mediation is voluntary
You can’t say, “No” to a judge. At least it isn’t easy and it is seldom wise. In the courtroom he holds the power. Since mediation is voluntary, you maintain the power to say no. You cannot be forced to agree, to give in or to settle against your better judgment. You are free to stay and you are free to leave. You retain the opportunity to create a better agreement, to walk away from a bad agreement and, if you choose, still go to court.

Mediation is confidential
Mediation keeps personal matters private. Mediation will be in a private office and not in open court. Discussions, tentative offers and potential agreements are all protected. You can consider alternatives, think out loud and make offers without compromising your position. The discussions in mediation are legally confidential and cannot be used in court. So, what happens in mediation, stays in mediation.

Mediation costs less and takes less time
Mediation simply costs less than litigation. Far less than litigation. In California, the average cost for a litigated divorce averages $40,000 while a mediated divorce including all fees and mediations expenses is commonly less than $5,000. Many lawyers will start with a retainer of $5.000.
Mediation typically lasts a few short hours scheduled as you choose, while litigation may drag out for many months. Postponements, depositions, discovery motions, and evaluations are all just part of litigation. But it all adds up in time and money.

Mediation creates solid, lasting agreements
Solutions crafted during mediation are uniquely suited to the dispute at hand. You know best how to solve this issue, not your lawyers and certainly not a judge. Remember, a judge has only a limited amount of time and information to make her decision. When you mediate your agreement is custom designed not a cookie cutter solution.
Since the agreement is crafted by the participating parties there is a greater commitment to the agreement all around. There is less chance that you will find yourself returning to court trying to enforce one part of the settlement or another. Each party is motivated to see the agreement through.

Mediation decreases anxiety
Step by step as the agreement is built in mediation the feelings of anxiety begin to decrease. Slowly, the tensions and emotions are managed and clear productive thinking can be reestablished. Working relationships can be restored. Life will begin to return to normal. This can happen even in the most difficult cases. This can happen even when you see no hope.

Mediation provides a new way through the most difficult conflicts that families face. It offers resolutions that are solid and doable. Instead of the same old warfare it eases the pain and costs of fighting out the battles. Mediation helps families resolve their conflicts in a better, more humane way, without sacrificing any of their interests, needs or rights.